Thanksgiving Break Starts in 20 Minutes

I am so excited to have a week off!!  This school year is very stressful.  I don't remember ever having a crazier school year...not even when I first started teaching.  On a good note, we are almost at semester.  I am so excited about all the great changes that have been taking place in my personal life and the changes that I know are yet to come.  God is so great and has blessed me so much.  It is amazing to look back at a year ago and see how much has changed.

I will spend my first Thanksgiving not with my family.  It is for a good reason though.  I am going to spend Thanksgiving with Jarrod and his family.  It will be different but I am looking forward to it.  He is going to come down and spend some time getting to know my family but the actual day of Thanksgiving will be with his family. 

Next Friday will mark 5 months that we have been dating.  It has gone really quickly.  I know where this is taking us but paitently waiting on answers as to when.  I don't believe in rushing anything and that the timing on everything is all Jarrod and when he feels like God is telling him the time is right.  All I can say is that I greatly look forward to spending time with him over the next week.  Life is good!!  :)

The Rangers Win the Pennant!!!

I have been a Texas Rangers baseball fan for as long as I can remember.  I went to my first game when I was about 11 years old but had been a fan for much longer.  The only time I parted from them was for a few years after Nolan Ryan retired which saddened me so much I picked a different favorite team.  It did not last long...and during that time, I sitll went to Rangers games when I could.  I have always dreamed of them making it to the World Series.  Last night, they defeated the evil Yankees to represent the American League in the WORLD SERIES!!  I am so excited and am in disbelieve.  I think the Rangers making it to the World Series is symbolic of my year over all.  Different things in my life that I have always hoped for have happened in 2010.  I feel like it is still just the beginning of great things to come.  I know it may sound strange to compare the Rangers making it to the World Series to finding the love of my life but they are both big things in my life.  Both are things I wondered if they would ever actually happen.  No matter how crazy my life has been lately, it is still one of the best times of my life!!!  I cannot wait to see what the future holds!!

Time...what's that?

So the last month or so since I last wrote in here has been absolutely CRAZY nuts!! I know that the start of school is always a busy time but I feel like this has been worse than normal.  I have felt at times like a new teacher and many times feel like I am barely staying afloat.  I will start to see a light and then more stuff is piled on.  I have decided that I am going to work on prioritizing the work things that are most important and make sure those get done.  After that, I will do what I can but I will not be taking the stresses home with me and if I don't get to something, life will go on.  I feel that is important to my sanity.  Also, I feel like the place that I was at in my spiritual walk 3 months ago is not where I am now and I want to be there.  That is a much higher priority in my life than a job.  I know that my job is important and teaching kids is a really big deal...but...God and my journey with him is much more important.  God has done so many amazing things in my life that I have to give him what I feel like he deserves.  I also fully believe that God has a particular purpose for my life...some of that purpose may involve the students that I teach.  If I let the stresses of the day get me down, I can't fulfill that purpose or any other purpose God has for me.  I am praying for the ability to handle my stress and serve my purpose as I grow closer in my walk with Him!!

1 week + A Monday Down

School has now been in session for 1 week and 1 day.  It has already been a rollar coaster ride.  A couple of bad days followed by a couple of good ones and then a bad one and then a good one.  I have a feeling this is going to be the rollar coaster year.  I am hoping to get my control down and have a great class.  We will see.  On top of it being a roller coaster ride, I am missing my man up in Fayetteville.  I can't wait until Friday and my first trip up there to see him!!  Plus, a Razorback football game...my 1st one to go to in Fayetteville.  I went to one in Little Rock while I was in college.  I am so excited!!  I must also say for the world to see that I have the most amazing boyfriend.  I still cannot believe that God has blessed me with such an awesome guy!!  :)

Summer 2010: OVER

Summer 2010 officially ends tomorrow.  Unlike last summer, I am not completely ready for this summer to be over.  It has been one of the best summers of my life.  I worked half of it and then spent the other half going on vacation, visiting friends and family and spending time with my amazing boyfriend.  I have truly realized this summer how blessed that I truly am.  God has been so good to me and sometimes I feel truly undeserving of it all.  I don't want him to take it all away though because it is wonderful.  As this summer ends, I am greatly anticipating the next year and what all God still has in store for me.  It is pretty amazing to think of the possibilities!! 

Summer is drawing to an end!

It has been a little while since I last posted and so much has happened. My initial frustrations with my friend are still there but I am having to put that aside and leave it in God's hands. I am at one of the happiest points in my life right now and can't let things get that down. God has brought an amazing guy into my life, and I am so excited to see where this path takes he and I. I don't even know if I can tell the story on here and do it complete justice. Jarrod and I begin emailing and texting back in April and then went on our first date in June. It has been a pretty exciting journey so far and one that I am pretty sure, God has a hand in. Only time will tell what the future holds for us but I am super excited to find out.

This summer as a whole has been great. I worked the month of June so I stayed around here and then made up for last summer being stuck at my parents house and working all of June during the month of July. I visited lots of friends that I had not seen in a long time. While visiting friends, I was finally able to meet their sweet children...from 4 years old down to newborns. It was great. I took my first trip out of the country to visit Cozumel, Mexico with my parents and brother Phillip. It was awesome. I spent time with my wonderful new boyfriend getting to know him better and just spend good quality time with him. I am very pleased with how this summer went. I feel that all the good things can be attributed right back to God. I am so excited to see what the next year will bring. (It's funny, as a teacher, the year goes from August to July rather than January to December.)

Confused...and Frustrated...AGAIN :)

I am still so confused in my life. Almost everything in my life is going really well and that makes me extremely happy. God is so good it blows me away. The potential for even better things feels like it is just at the tip of my fingers. I can't wait to see what the future holds and where He takes me. I know if I rely on Him and follow his guiding, great things will come. But with great things coming, other things have to change. That is the part that is so confusing and frustrating right now. I want so bad to be completely and totally happy...to do that, I have to hurt a great friend. I don't want to and I really wish there was a way around it but I have yet to find that way. I don't want to cause hurt...I can't stand hurting people, but I also don't want to stop my life from moving forward. I just wish I had more answers...I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have to trust God and that his will is going to win out. It's just so hard sometimes. You gotta love when God is teaching you a lesson. :) I kind of feel like this blog entry is pretty vague but I don't feel like the things going on in my mind and in my heart are quite ready to be broadcast, even on a blog no one reads. :) Sorry non-existent readers....maybe later!! :)

Happy Father's Day

Today I am thankful for my Daddy. We don't always get along the best but I really do think he is a pretty awesome man and I am blessed to be able to call him Daddy. I know that most of the time, the reason we do struggle to get along, is that we are too much alike. I see a lot of him in myself! I see a lot of my mother in me but I also see a lot of my dad. I am very glad that he set the example of a Christian father here on Earth and that I have that example of my heavenly father. I know that he worked hard to make sure that us kids had the things that we needed as well as extras. I am very thankful for that. I am not sure I always let him know I feel as far as that goes. Love you Daddy and I hope your Father's Day was fantastic!!

My Plan B is God's Plan from the Beginning

It's funny, you'd think summer break would me LOTS of free time and relaxation. So far, I think I am BUSIER than I was before school got out. Some of that is fun stuff that I want to be doing but STILL...busy. I am writing science curriculum again during the day...fun times there. Anyway, for the first time since school let out, I came home and laid on the couch to watch TV and BAM...I went to sleep. I'm not really a fan of naps most of the time because you wake up feeling all nasty but I fell asleep anyway...contacts in and all. Yup...probably why I am still pretty awake at 11:11 pm. Oh well, I will get in the bed eventually.

I had a really great weekend. I went and stayed with my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. My parents came out for the day on Saturday. It was lots of fun. With all the craziness that went down around their wedding, I wasn't sure my sister-in-law and I would ever be friends but God has really worked through all that mess and I feel like we are getting much closer. I have a great time hanging out with her. It was a good weekend. I made it back here just in time to change clothes, throw on some makeup and run a quick Chi through my hair before heading to church.

THANK GOODNESS, I made it back in time for church. That sermon was sent straight from God to Trudy's heart. The theme that has been playing over and over and over in my life especially lately was all laid out nice and neatly in a message from the pastor. Wow, God is pretty amazing with that. The first word's out of the preacher's mouth were something like this: "Has life ever NOT gone the way you had planned." I want to raise my hand and give a shout right then and there. When has my life gone exactly how I had planned in the last 7 years....ummm....never. My big plan was to be married by 23 and working on baby number 3 by now. I wanted to be living the American dream settled down near Momma and Daddy teaching the future of America. I got the teaching thing down but not really the rest of it. At times, I feel like I am just waiting on life to start while I live plan B. The sermon talked a lot about living with plan B. The big point was that just because it is our plan B...God does not have a plan B...what we are living, IS his plan. WHOA!!! DUH!!! HELLO!!! All those thoughts crossed my mind at that point. There is a purpose to my life and a plan in place. It may not be my plan but it IS God's plan and isn't that usually SO much better than my plan. Oh yea, there will be hurt and disappointment but in the end, isn't that what often grows us closer to God??? There will also be joy and happiness...it all works together to make us the people that God intends us to be. Aren't you glad God is in control??? I know I am, I just wish I could trust him a little more...that's my prayer at the moment!!

One Year Later

A year ago this weekend is when God began teaching me some important lessons.

The first lesson he taught me was to not rely on my own plans but realize that sometimes he has other plans that usually end up being better. At this point last year, could I have seen falling and breaking my arm and tearing my ACL as a better plan than what I had in mind...absolutely not. I had plans to work for the summer and hang out at my apartment getting it cleaned and just doing basically whatever I felt like doing. Instead, I spent the summer at my parents house. Yes, there were days that I absolutely hated it and wished for my summer back. But really, a lot of good things happened over the summer. I got to spend some valuable time with my family...those days don't come often enough and I really did enjoy them. I have the best Mom anyone could ever have and I really enjoyed spending time with her. I still miss chatting with her before bed in the evenings and watching GemsTV. :) I spent more time with my best friend than I had in ages and feel that we are closer now than we have ever been. She was with me through all my fun injuries and I was able to be with her as she finished out her pregnancy and then the first month of Miss Abigail's life.

The second lesson that God started teaching me last summer was humility. I had become a pretty independent person and felt confident in doing most things for myself, how I wanted them done, when I wanted them done. That becomes difficult when even small tasks like washing and fixing your hair or taking a bath become a challenge. I had to rely on someone else again. Thank goodness once again for my wonderful mother who did more for me last summer than I should have ever had to ask her to do!! She was fantastic. And let me not forget my dad whose summer didn't quite go the way he had planned either...having to share space again when you had gotten used to not can be quite challenging. There were days I wasn't sure we'd make it but we did. I think this taught me a bigger lesson when it comes to humility and this is the lesson of not just relying on myself but on God....even in the little things. I have always been pretty good at giving God the big things but like to keep the little ones. Kind of like, I know if I needed something big, I could ask my parents...but the little things...like washing my hair, I would not have thought to need them for any more.

So, although there were things about last summer that just really sucked...some really good things came out of it. The road to recovery was long and hard at times but I made it with the help of God, my family, and my friends!! My arm is not 100% straight but it is fully functional with very little pain and I wasn't sure it would ever get there. My knee is great...I don't think I will need surgery on it thanks to PT and continuing to work it out. It is helping me to get to the gym more often because I don't want to have to have knee surgery.

What fascinates me the most is looking at life over the last year and seeing what a difference a year makes. It is interesting that as a teacher, the year goes from August to June (forget July) and last year's accident happened right on the end of that. Not to rush my life, but seeing what a difference this year has made, I can't wait to see what the next year has in store!! :) God is good!!!

7 Years DOWN

I completed my 7th year of teaching today. Wow, that just sounds crazy....I feel like I should just be starting out. The year had its ups and downs but over all, it was a really good year. My kids really bonded with each other and with me...many of them were bawling and did not want to let go yesterday. I have never had it quite like that before. I was sad to let them go. And then on top of that, we found out yesterday that my awesome principal has decided to retire. I wish her the best and know she is doing what is best for her but we will greatly miss her at LCE. There will never be another quite like her. I feel so privileged to have gotten to work for her for the last four years. On that note, this next year will involve a lot of prayer as I decide what my next step in life is. I told my mom a couple of years ago that when 2 things happened, I would start considering other options. One of those things was receiving our IB Authorization and making sure I saw that process through...I didn't want to leave in the middle. The second thing was Kelly retiring or leaving. Both of those things happened this year. I really pray that God shows me the obvious path to take whether it be continuing on at LCE after next year, moving closer to home, or elsewhere. I have a few other requests that could make that decision easier but only time will tell. Just know that I will be praying hard for God to guide me over the next year...and for the willingness to do what he leads me to do.

Sick Day

It is the last week of school and I am home sick. As ready as I am for summer break, I would rather not get a day off from being sick. I am going to the doctor after while to hopefully get some quick working meds. I ran fever yesterday and have coughed so much and so hard that my whole back aches. I am doing everything I can to not cough now b/c it hurts so bad. I hate being a big baby about it but I can't help it.

On another note, I found the most awesome book. The book is: When God Write Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I have not finished the book yet but I feel as if I could have written parts of it because it is totally in line with what I feel and think. I gave up control of my dating relationships to God about 8 years ago after heartbreak and the realization that my future husband is out in the world somewhere. I realized that I wanted to stay pure to him and that when it was the right man, God would show me. That is the gist of this book. It is great so far. I am finding it encouraging also because there are many times, that I try to take control back from God and grow frustrated that I am still single at this point in my life. The book addresses those issues. I highly suggest reading it and giving God the pen to write your love story!!

Crazy

This is one of the two craziest times of the year for me...the end of school. The beginning of school is the other. There are just lists and lists of things to get done in a relatively short amount of time. I tend to be fairly organized though and on top of things so it helps me. I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I weren't. On top of all that needs to be done, I am going home for the long Memorial Day weekend. I am really looking forward to hanging out with family and friends. I am anticipating a fantastic weekend. Part of that will involve meeting the newest addition to our family, little William...and getting to watch his big brother, Drake play t-ball. It will be a great weekend but I will be homesick once I return. I always am. I don't understand why I still feel that way. It is one of the things that will have me in serious prayer over the next year as to what my plans for the 2011-2012 school year are to be. I am really going to have to depend on God to show me the way and follow his lead.

On that note, I am interviewing the with Children's minister at my church on June 6th to see where the best place for me would be at church. I really want to help out and feel like it is truly what God wants me to do. I know that I am called to work with children. God has always made that pretty clear to me. I am very excited about the new venture but a little nervous. I know it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

Welcome to the World William Scott!!!

Mommy and Will

Daddy and Will

William Scott White

May 24, 2010 3:44 pm

7 lbs 8 oz and 21 in.

My sweet new nephew was born yesterday. I have not yet gotten to meet him but will be flying to Atlanta after work on Friday to get to hold that sweet baby. I stole the pictures I am posting off of my sister's facebook. To me, he looks just like his big brother Drake when he was born. My sister says she thinks he looks a lot like his daddy but I don't see it. Our family tends to mark our children well. Drake looks just like my sister and it seems to me that so will baby Will. Only time will tell for sure though!!

History in the Making

Another school year is quickly ending. This was year 7 of my career and year 4 at my current location. It is hard to believe that I have taught for that many years. Next year, the students that I student taught in the 4th grade will be seniors. It sometimes feels like life is moving so quickly. Sometimes, I just really want to pause it for a minute and breath in the moment. Even the small moments are moments I don't always want to pass so quickly. On the other hand, I am very excited to see what the rest of my life has in store. I am very interested to see what God has in the plans for my life. Sometimes I wish I had a peep hole into the future but then, what would be the fun in knowing what was ahead. It would be a lot like reading a book out of order. Kind of ruins the book if you know what is going to happen. I like the title of the Darius Rucker song...History in the Making. That is what each day of our lives is...History in the Making. Each moment is important to the next. It's just proof of how awesome and wonderful God is.

Prayers for my Future Husband

It was rather interesting for me today to go back and read over the journal I kept through college. Most of it was dedicated to my various love interests particularly the one I was most serious with. I also have a letter I wrote in 2001 to my future husband. It was interesting to read over that as well. I have changed and grown in a lot of ways, but my hopes and dreams for my future husband have not changed. I realize I am a bit on the old fashioned side but I think old fashioned values are still important today. One thing that has always struck me hard, is that if I am going to get married one day, my husband is already out there in this world somewhere. I often wonder if he is as impatient for the day we are to meet as I am. I pray a lot for him and that he is becoming the man God has planned for me. I also pray that I am becoming the woman that God wants him to have. I hope that he is praying for me also. I also pray that the time is growing near for God to bring us together. One of the things I wrote in my journal was about how my boyfriend at the time wanted to wait until he was 30 to get married. That just sounded crazy to me and I wanted to be married LONG before I turned 30. Well, I will be 30 this year and am still not married...ironically, he is married with a child. Funny how God likes to take my plans and show me that they are mine and not his. One thing I have learned though is that his plan is usually MUCH better than mine if I just wait on it. I refuse to settle for what I think might be best and wait on what God thinks is best!!! To my future husband, my prayers continue to be with you and the man God is growing you to be!!!

The Difference of a Day...not good this time.

It is pretty amazing the difference a day can make. Yesterday I was in a great mood...today, I am so stinkin frustrated I can barely think. My kids are absolutely CRAZY. We only have 9 days left of this school year and it is so obvious. I can't get them to sit down and be quiet and get their work done. What work I do get, is very low quality. I really believe we are pushing these kids too much and need to just end this year a little bit sooner. ARG. I want to be out of this bad mood. I plan to go work out again today and do some more Bible reading when I get home. Hopefully, those two things will really make a difference in this very frustrated mood.

"Holier than Thou"...nope...Just In Love with God

I have a friend lately who likes to tell me that I am acting "holier than thou." That really bothers me. I don't want to act like I am better than anyone else but at the same time, I do feel like having the Holy Spirit within is such an awesome feeling and anyone without it is truly missing out. It seems to consume a lot of what I have talked about lately. I think it is like when you have a new toy or something that you really like...all you want to do is talk about it. I have a fire in my heart for God right now that is unlike anything I have had in a long time. I want others to feel that fire and have it within them also. It isn't that I am "holier than thou", I just want to spread the love of Christ. I do realize that I am still full of sin and that there are many areas of my life that I need to work out. But I am so thankful for grace and that I am forgiven of those sins. It was actually pretty amazing...I typically get very emotional at certain times and really feel like I am losing control of myself. For the first time in many months, that did not happen. It was amazing...and I equate that totally to God. I am so thankful for the group of people that he has blessed me with over the last few months and how their love of Christ and how they live their lives has bubbled over to me. I also realize that valleys will return and that those are the times that truly test us but I feel stronger than I have in a long time. I do believe that God has a purpose and a plan for my life and I am so ready to follow that. I think for several years there, I was not ready to follow. I pray that I continue to feel that way and that I allow God to direct my path and show me the way!!! It's kind of scary really because you never know where and how he is going to take you but it is exciting at the same time.

My Sister

As excited as I am about my new nephew coming, it also reinforces something that just really breaks my heart. That would be my relationship with my sister and the place she gives me in her life. We have never been close but I really thought that would change as we got older. It really has not and not from lack of trying on my part. I know that when I pray for God to help me with certain relationships, the one with her is the one I think I pray the most about. I called her last night to share in the excitement and talk about coming to meet baby Will...all she could talk about was the other people that were coming. It was almost as if it was more important that they would be there than me coming. She's funny like that...with my parents also. Everyone else is more important to her than they are. Which is absolutely crazy after ALL that they have done for her and will continue to do for her. She she expects it from them. It kind of drives me crazy. My parents are 2 of the most important people in my life and I can't stand to see them hurt. The craziness that went on when Drake was born broke my mom's heart. I just hope she is different with Mom and Dad this time. I still pray that one day she can learn to appreciate me and she and I can be close. There are things we have been through together that no one else can share with us...I just pray for the patience to deal with the bad treatment and to love her anyway.

The Waiting Game

I am so super excited. Nephew number 3, William, will be here by next Monday. I can't wait to hold that sweet baby and smoother him in Aunt Trutru kisses!! I want to spoil him as much as I spoiled his brother Drake. Of course, I would love to have my own little ones to spoil but nieces and nephews are the next best thing!!! In some ways, they are better, because you can give them back to their own mommas if they get bad. :) This is going to be one LONG week waiting to meet sweet baby William!!

On another note, I am working on trust and trusting that God has a plan and his own timeline and it is not always lined up with what I want and my timeline. I filled out the application to do more work with Children's Ministry at church but have not heard back from them yet. They call and set up an "interview" to see where your best fit would be within the children's ministry so you have to wait on that. I am so excited to get involved that the wait is a bit torturous. I know that eventually they will call me but waiting is hard. There are many things in life that I am waiting on and it is so hard. I know his plan is perfect but sometimes I wish he'd just listen to my plan a little bit. I want to take control just a little bit but I know I need to trust God and let him be in control.

Old Blogs

I was reading back over some old blogs today and found two that really stuck out in my mind so I am going to copy and paste them and then discuss at the end.

1. "For several years now, I have kept a journal of notes from church and prayers and such. I don't typically reflect on it as often as I should...mainly just while I am sitting in church waiting on the service to start. Well, today, I read back over something that I found interesting and felt like sharing with you guys. It was something I wrote on August 6, 2002...not too long after Jon and I broke up when my heart was still very much broken. What I wrote was: " I pray for the strength to hold my heart tighter and not give it away until is the man I am to marry. I pray for the patience to wait for your perfect timing in bringing that man into my life." I just find that so interesting that I would write that in the middle of heart break but I think it helps explain some things in my life. I have not had the opportunity to date much but maybe that is the reason. My heart is being guarded by God until he brings that man into my life that is the one he perfectly wills for me. I am still working on the patience in waiting for that man but I still have faith that God has him out there. In time, he will unguard my heart when he brings that man into my life."

2. "Is it not so interesting how sometimes God places you in the right place at the right time? Just an interesting thought that has been on my mind since last night. Some of you will know what I am talking about, others will not but just think about it in your own life. How many times were you at the right place at the right time? I fully believe God's timing is perfect. If we wait on him to guide our lives he will orchestrate the daily happenings and the grand events. God is the composer that writes the score of life and the director that tells how to play it. If we try to direct it ourselves, we end up unhappy. I don't know right now how the score of my life will play out but I am very excited to play the music God is writing."

Both of the blogs were written in 2006-2007. I just find them interesting because both have been thoughts on my mind lately. It's funny how God brings things to your mind over and over. It's like he has a particular message for me that he wants to make sure I hear and take to heart. Anyway, just thought I would share those thoughts.

When God Calls, He Will Make You Answer

So, I got part of my answer yesterday about what God has up his sleeve. It is funny how he answers requests sometimes. I know that I have a calling for children's ministry. I have done it for many years but over the last few years have done very little with it. I have helped with the Single Parent Ministry a little bit but not even a lot there. I started feeling the tug a few weeks ago to get more involved at church but really did not know who to contact. I am sure I could have figured it out had I really wanted to but as we are all good at, I made that an excuse. If I didn't know who to talk to, I must not have to do it just yet. Well, God took that excuse away real fast at church last night. One of the mom's from my classroom, spoke in front of the church about volunteering in children's ministry. As if that wasn't clear as mud, a conversation at dinner caused even more conviction. I mentioned what had happened during the service to a couple of people and was basically told that I had to act and that they would ask me if I did next time they saw me. So, today, I talked to the mom that spoke and she immediately sent me the email address of who I needed to talk to and I sent him an email. Now I am just waiting on a response from him as to what my next step will be. I know that if it is within God's will it can't be bad. I know that I am one step closer to answering my call. Scary stuff.

I am just amazed at how ready I feel to take that step again. I had stepped out of helping in children's ministry for a couple of reasons. One, the daily wear of being in the classroom made it feel like work and not joyful. I did not think that was fair to the kids I was supposed to be ministering to. Secondly, I was at a point in my life where God was not my focus. And when God is not your focus, your priorities get all out of whack. That was where I was. And honestly, I liked my lifestyle for awhile. I liked going out and drinking and having a good time and not feeling like I was accountable to anyone for those actions. I could not be honest with the kids I was ministering to if I was out whooping it up in my non church life. Both of those things no longer feel like issues. God took away my desire to drink (except maybe an occasional glass of wine)....and I feel like I have joy again outside of class. Of course, I think a lot of that could have to do with getting that focus back. God brings joy to your life when you let him. I just hope that through my actions, I am bringing joy to him.

We talked last night in small group about what worship truly is and decided that it is much more than just a song or a quiet moment. It goes further than just a Sunday service or a Bible study session. True worship is how you live your lives. It is glorifying HIM in all you do. That is what I want. It is definitely a conscious effort to remember that what I do is for him sometimes but I think it will get easier with time. The example we gave last night was the milkmaid...she should be joyful and honoring God even as she milks the cows. Even the smallest of tasks can be for his glory!! AMEN!!! :)

Sad...yet excited!

I think it is a good thing that no one actually reads this. I may even take it off of my facebook page as a link just to keep it a little more personal. It makes it a little easier to pour out my heart if I think it is pretty much between me and God alone. I am so sad tonight. I can see the hurt in a great friend's eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It is still the same conflict...I can stop it...but then become miserable myself...and I've been there...I don't want to go there again. I really do like the direction my life is going now. I feel like I am closer to God than I have probably ever been before and that is EXCITING!!! I feel like I am getting so much closer to finding and following the calling he has for my life. I am truly inspired by those men and women that I spend my Sunday nights and my Tuesday evenings with. I am excited to spend more time with them and learn from them and grow with them. I am ready for God to prepare me for the next stage in my life. I don't know if is the prospect of turning 30 (7 months from today) or just that I have reached that point where I am truly ready. It's scary. It's a time of brutal honesty with God pouring out my heart and my soul. It is a time of having to completely trust him and have faith that he has a plan and he will put that plan into motion. I just don't know how I can keep from causing pain and hurt in the process. I think it would be much easier if my friend had a love for Christ that would get him through trials and tribulations but I don't think he is there yet. I think he loves God and has accepted him as a savior but doesn't truly understand what that means. I pray that God will show him that. I pray that God will bring him a friend...male or female...that can show him that. I feel like I have planted seeds but I can't make them grow. He has to take them and cultivate them and make the flourish.

Torn

What do you do when you are torn between what has always been there and what could be there...especially if what could be there could be your future? I feel so caught between hurting someone who has been and will be as long as I let them...a pretty awesome friend...and the possibility of meeting the one who I am meant to spend my life with. I don't know if God is bringing that person to me anytime soon but in my heart I hope so much that he is. I have not been ready to let go of the other and have held on to it so tightly and have prayed that God give me the strength to loosen my hold a little bit. I feel like God is doing that but in the process, it is hurting my friend. And I can't stand to hurt those that I care the most about. Wow, I just never realized it would be this hard. On the other side, this is kind of what my friend put me through for years. My heart would really start thinking maybe, even though a lot of things I feel like are pretty important in a relationship were missing, he could still be the one given time...and then he would do something to dash that idea and my heart would shatter. I have realized now that there are guys out there that are what I have always felt is important. I believe that my husband will be the spiritually leader of my family. I believe he will challenge me and help me to grow closer to God. I believe that in marriage the things that need to be done for God can be done even stronger through that partnership. There are men out there that will be that...and although my friend is a great person...he is not that for me. And I have to make my heart ready for the one that is so that maybe God can bring him to me soon. But I can't stand hurting my friend. I just don't know what to say to make him understand.

Giving Up Control

Yesterday during my quiet time, the lesson was about surrendering your life to God and fully trusting in him. That has caused me to take a minute and really think...have I surrendered my life fully to Him or am I still holding pieces for myself? I am at such a weird place right now that I just don't know that I can even explain it. I feel like God has something in store that will be pretty awesome but how or when it will happen, I have no idea. Now let me clarify and say that I have NO IDEA what the something in store is, I just have a feeling. Maybe it has to do with my 30th birthday inching closer. For most of this week, I have had a rare giddy excitement as I wait for what he has in store. Today has been harder. Today has been a day that I want to take back control and work out all the pieces for myself. Today has been a day that I have started thinking that maybe I am wrong...maybe my life is going to go on just as it is without any significant movement. As scary as change is, I really feel ready for it. This is a place I have not been in a really long time. On top of that, it is also a time that I realized that something I have wanted for many years is no longer something I want. I have been praying for God to either make the situation happen or to make it less of something I desire. I feel like it has been answered with the latter. I think that is a good thing. I think there are better options than what I first thought. I think that was me trying to control my situation and not letting God handle it. Now that I am letting go of that, I so greatly want him to step in and show me how he is the one in control and that I just have to have faith. That scares me to no end...either way, it is scary. Him stepping in and answering will be WAY scarier than I thought possible and realizing it may not be what I thought but something else is even scarier. I want to give up control and wait on God so desperately....I am praying so hard that I can do that. I want to have the faith that moves mountains. I also want to make sure that I am desiring the right things and not concentrating on something that is not what God would want. I am so confused right now and I just continue to pray that I might surrender completely to him!!!

Analyzing EVERYTHING

Have you ever taken a conversation and torn it apart afterward trying to understand every hidden meaning in every little word? Are you ever successful at getting the right meaning? I don't know. I have been doing that a lot lately, analyzing until I don't think I can analyze anymore...and then somehow I manage to. It's crazy...I'm no closer to understanding than when I started and maybe I should just take it at face value but I can't. I think this applys to our conversations with God as well. Sometimes, he just wants a chat without super analyzing going on. Take him at face value and have faith that what he is telling you is what he means.

Trying to Figure Out God: Impossible

So yea, God really has my mind occupied with trying to figure out what he's got going on. I know that he will reveal his plan in time, but I want to know now. I really feel that I am at the beginning of something big and a little scary and exciting all at the same time. Not quite sure what I think about that. I know that I can't hardly keep from smiling. I know that I am in a great mood and can't even make it go away with wild and crazy students. That is a good thing. I am continuing to pray that I let God lead the way and that I listen carefully to what he has to say. I think if I can let that be, no matter the outcome, God will guide me through!!!

Trusting God

In Bible study groups, we have talked a lot lately about trusting in God being able to do things that are bigger than we can imagine. I feel like he may be on the verge of doing that in my own life. If I am listening correctly, I think I know what he is telling me may come to be. I'm not 100% sure because it could just be my own wants but it just feels more like him. If it is him, it is going to take some major work on his part to make it happen. The great thing about it is that I know he is fully capable of making things happen that we don't even think are possible. I am continuing to pray that I follow him and not try to take control and try to make things happen myself. I wish I could give more details but there are not really more to give at this time. Mainly just pray that I listen to God and follow his directions.

Make new friends...but keep the old...one is silver and the other gold!

I had an awesome weekend!! I spent time with my parents and time with old friends I had not seen in awhile. It was really a great time! I went to my parents on Thursday and then Friday, got up and headed to Hot Springs. I hung out that afternoon with my old college friends, Rachel and Jaime. The next day, we had a Surprise Baby shower for our friend Kristy and a day at the Spa with Kristy and several other old friends. After that was over, I went back to my parents and spent time hanging out with them. I won't go home for Mother's Day next weekend so I did that early with Mom this weekend. Sadly, none of my siblings came by to say hello but thus is life.

I remembered this weekend how beautiful Arkansas is and how much I truly do miss it. I am starting to more and more want to head back that way in the next few years. We'll see though. It will be interesting to see what God has up his sleeve for me in my life. This year alone has been such an amazing year as far as growing in him goes. I have found a great group of people who challenge me and push me in my spiritual walk. They along with the church are showing me more and more about reaching out to others in his name. I'm not sure where that will take me but I know if I pray and listen, it will be where God leads me.

I am also praying about another thing in my life that I am starting to feel may be up God's sleeve. If it is, it is a very exciting thing and I can't wait to see what happens with it. I'm not quite ready to post about it on here yet because I don't want to start counting chickens before they hatch. I am trying not to read too much into a situation but at the same time, hope I am reading the right things. Please pray that I allow God to take the lead in this and not let me try to take control and possibly mess up his plan whatever that might be.

I just have to end by saying once again what an amazing God we serve. No matter the outcome, his plan is perfect and we have to remember that.

Conflicted

I must start out by saying that I had a fantastic weekend. My best friend and her two year old came to visit and we shopped, caught a movie and ate yummy food. I always enjoy spending time with her. I feel so blessed to have a friend like her. We have known each other literally since the womb. Our parents took Lamaze classes together. Interestingly, we were friends all the way through school but not super great friends until like 8th or 9th grade. In fact, I got her suspended in 5th grade but that is another story for another day. After high school we became even closer, and have been there for each other through so much...the loss of a grandparent and a baby, her wedding, her babies, crazy siblings, etc. We can go weeks without talking but when we do talk, it's like we've not missed a day. I am so thankful for her and her sweet family in my life. I also enjoyed a fantastic church service tonight and fellowship with new friends at The Point.

That was most of my weekend...the part that has me conflicted, came the last hour or so. These new and exciting adventures I am taking in my life, seem to be hurting a great friendship I already have. I don't want to hurt that friendship but I also can't rely on it to always be there besides the fact that I thrive on socialization and don't do well with just sitting around. I know at some point, he will meet a lovely girl or I will meet an amazing man and thus end our friendship. At some point, for either of us to be truly happy, that must happen. I am pretty certain, we are not supposed to be together, and I don't want to miss the one I am supposed to be with. It's such a struggle and one I don't quite know how to put into words. I don't want to lose the great friendship we have but I also want to get married and have kids. I want to have girl friends to hang out with and I want Christian friends to lift me up and challenge me in my daily walk with Christ. But my friend seems to be hurting and I can't stand that either. I just don't know how to fix it and us both be happy. Somebody has to be sad, and I just don't know how to handle that. I'm just so torn. So conflicted.

Question for God

I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan for each and everyone of us. It is something I believe from the bottom of my heart.

Do I ever question his plan...totally...and right now, I have a serious question for him. A great friend of mine suffered a miscarriage in September. She finally got pregnant again in December and has had a rough go of the pregnancy almost from the beginning. She did everything the doctor's instructed her to do and still lost her sweet baby Wednesday. I just don't understand. She and her husband are both amazing Christian people and will make amazing parents. Any child born to them or if necessary adopted, will be totally blessed. I often wonder how wonderful people like them struggle to have children while abusive, horrible people are able to procreate. It just makes no sense to me. I guess God's plan isn't supposed to make complete sense to any of us but still....I want to know. I think that is on my list of questions to eventually ask God when I reach heaven.

My heart is just broken for my friend. I don't really know how to reach out to her other than to let her know that she is in my prayers and in my thoughts. I just continue to pray that God wraps his loving arms around her, her husband and the rest of her family during their grief. On a good note, their sweet baby never had to know the evils of the world. Maybe in some ways, Kamdyn Grace is luckier than any of us...she got to go straight from the safety of her mother's womb to the loving arms of our loving Savior.

Susan, if you ever read this, you are very loved and always prayed for!! I know it may not be obvious now, but God has a plan and in our grief is when we reach out to him the most!!

The Good, The Bad, and the Best part of my Week

Let's be positive first. My friend that I wrote about in my last post that was driving me crazy was actually quite nice yesterday even helping me to clean the kitchen. That's a rarity. My friend has agreed to buy dinner tomorrow night but we shall see if that actually happens. There have been times where I have questioned this particular friendship and why I really hang on to it because it is so frustrating so often. Days like yesterday remind me why. Some friends are worth sticking with through thick and then.

Now...the negative. I have a coworker that drives me insane. I try really hard to be positive with this person but it is often quite hard. This coworker contributes very little to the team but is quick to take. For example, we did science experiments yesterday that required some outside materials. The other 3 of us quickly volunteered to bring most of the necessary items. This person never once volunteered and then got a little mad when she did not get one of the materials sent to her. HELLO....get off your lazy butt and go get it. Then she never has plans figured out for herself but is always quick to see what we have copied and take from it. Now let me clarify, I do believe that as a team you should share BUT....I believe you should do your part and not always take. Today at lunch, someone asked what I was eating and said that it looked good....her response...well, we wouldn't know since she doesn't bring enough for everyone. HELLO again...I am 29 years old and single. I have taught 7 years and yes, I still live pay check to pay check. I hope by the time I am in my 50s and have taught for over 30 years, I am no longer living that way. I hope to make better life choices. I try really hard to be patient but it is growing more and more difficult to succeed at that when I stay so frustrated by everything that comes out of her mouth. Ever so often, and that is very rarely, I enjoy a moment of conversation with her. I want to be a light for God for this person but oh my goodness, I don't know that I can. ARG.

Anyway, that's todays vent. Tonight is Bible Study with the girls and I look forward to it. We are finishing up Francis Chan's Forgotten God. If I have not already said so, I highly recommend it. I would like to read his book Crazy Love next. This is such a great group of women and I enjoy meeting with them every week and growing in the Holy Spirit with them!! It definitely makes my week a little bit better!!

Woe is Me!

I think it is a good thing that no one actually reads this thing because it gives me the freedom to be more open with my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, it helps to just get them off of the chest.

Today is just not a great day so far. I am homesick, frustrated, and probably a little pmsy.

My sister is having a baby shower today, and I am missing it. Granted it was my choice, and I had a great time yesterday, but I still feel like I am missing out. I feel like that quite often actually. My siblings are always doing things with each other and my parents. I am going to go 2 months without seeing my family at all. I realize this was the choice I made. I often question that decision. I feel like at some point, moving back closer is what I will do but when is the question. For some reason, something holds me here and I don't quite understand it. My job is okay...I don't really fit in with most of my colleagues. I just never formed really great bonds with any one other than 2 of my teammates. I have never figured that out but whatever. As I said yesterday, you can't force people to be your friend. I enjoy the kids I teach and it is a good school to work for but is that always enough. I do love my church and am enjoying spending more time with Point people. As much as I enjoy that, they aren't steadfast bonds yet that I couldn't completely live without. With time, they might be.

This whole friend thing brings me to my frustration today. One sided friendships, or friendships where one person gives and the other takes. It really takes a toll on the friendship, I believe. I am not quite sure how to explain this further without making someone mad if they happen to read this. On the other hand, maybe they need to read it and get mad. It's just little things add up until they become big things. For example, I have a friend that I take turns cooking dinner. I always try to have something planned to cook and if I don't, I will buy dinner at a restaurant and pay for both of us. On the other hand, I can't tell you the last time my friend cooked. And 90% of the time when we go out when it was my friend's night to cook, I buy my own. Can you tell me where the fairness is in that? And if I bring it up, I'm just nagging and being annoying. Isn't true friendship about honesty and working things out?? Also, my friend has been going through some life changes that I understand are difficult and I have tried to be there but it has greatly taken its toll on me. And then the one day when I am just not feeling up to par, I get turned down for an invitation to lunch. I shouldn't have to guilt the person into something but on the other hand, I think it was obvious in my voice that I was down. Sometimes, you just need a friend to be there when you need someone. That is what I feel I am lacking most in my life.

I have friends, but not someone I can get to drop anything and always be there. Oh yeah, sometimes be there, but sometimes isn't always enough. I am just frustrated and needed to vent.

The day will get better!! I will go to church tonight and spend time worshiping my God. I will spend time in spiritual discussion with some awesome people. It will be okay. It's just right now that kind of sucks and causes me to have a big fat pity party. Woe is me!

Arbonne Party = SUCCESS

So my worries were for nothing. I had people at my party and we had a great time!! We all looked so pretty with our fresh makeup!! Once we were done, we went to a place in Grapevine called Tastings. It was interesting. We sat out on the patio and had a glass of wine and some dinner. It seemed like it would be fun to go back to and try all the wines. They have a neat concept I had never seen before. You put money on a gift card type thing and then you use it at the different wine stations to get various size samples of wine. It would be a great way to try different wines. We did not chose to do that tonight but I may go back some other time and give it a try. All in all though, it was a great evening spent with some great girls!!

Party Time Nerves

I committed a few months ago to host my first sales type party. I am having an Arbonne party this afternoon. I am excited about it but a bit nervous. I have 6 people that have said they are coming but this fear keeps cropping up in my mind that they'll either forget or have something else come up. I think this may stem from the fact that no one came to my last birthday party. Of course, this is a totally different group of people for the most part. I have realized that most of the people invited to my birthday are not my true friends. They are mere acquaintances that I have tried to make friends. A few of the people I invited are truly my friend and just had something come up. Anyway, that is a totally different story and one I am obviously still hurt over. Oh well, I guess.

I hope everyone comes to this one. I missed my nephew's first Tball game and will miss my sister's baby shower because I had already committed to host this part. It will be fun and it gave me the motivation I needed to really clean my apartment. It's not perfect still but it is MUCH better!!!

The particular theme of my party is Arbonne: Hollywood Style. We are looking at the makeup line and getting makeovers. I bought champagne, cheeses, strawberries, and grapes for refreshments...I even bought champagne flutes. (Plastic but whatever!!) Afterwards, we have talked about going out somewhere nice for dinner with our makeovers. We'll see!!

I love my Bible study girls and am glad that I am starting to hang out with them more. They are all amazing Christian women and people I'd really like to get to know better. I'm kind of the old lady in the group, but that is okay. They seem to like me anyway!! :) I have missed having my group of girls to hang out with and this is a great group to get involved with!!

First the Mountaintop....Next the Valley

Finds it very frustrating that Satan always attacks when you are most on fire for God. Those mountain top experiences are always quickly followed by the valley.

This past weekend with the Easter celebrations was so great and I felt the spirit within. Today, I can't seem to fight a really terrible mood. It seems like every little thing frustrates me and just makes me want to scream.

I was so excited last night to come back to work and let his light shine through me. Today, I just want everyone to go away and leave me alone and in peace.

Yesterday, a joyous emotion was hard pressed to stay inside. Today, words of hurt and anger struggle to stay inside.

I have been reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis for my small group with The Point at IBC. It definitely seems that when you are most at peace with God and your life and ready to do good things that you are under the most attack. So I know these things...I know that this is how the life of a Christian will be. I know that the attacks I receive and the suffereing I at time feel compares nothing to that of what Jesus endured. Why then must I let it frustrate me so much and allow it to actually get to me???

Happy Easter!! HE is RISEN!!!

Well, I did it. I cooked my first Easter dinner all by myself. I kept it simple: Ham, homemade mac and cheese, broccoli rice casserole, deviled eggs, rolls, and a Cherry O'Cream pie. All were things I had either

Of course, I talked to Mom and she missed me at home and the help I usually give in the kitchen. Unfortunately, none of my siblings have ever quite learned how to do that. It comes from being the oldest I guess. Also, I was old enough to help around the house a lot when Mom went back to school. I guess I was in about 6th grade. Although, I was often frustrated by being the one that had to help out, I feel like it taught me a lot and helped shape me into who I am today. All of that being said, don't know if I'll try this again next year or go home. Right now, Mom and Dad are between churches not able to find one that really suites them both. I told Mom that if they have a church and there is a place for me to spend Easter in celebration of Christ's resurrection, than I will come home. That is tough though because I really did get a lot our of IBCs Easter services.

I feel like it is important to remember that Easter is not just the Resurrection or the Cross but a combination. I feel like you need to have the somber time of remembering what actually happened leading up to the Resurrection before you can celebrate the fact that HE ROSE!!

I did not do as well with my Lenten plan as I had hoped but will continue to work on the goal I set even though Lent is over. Rather that taking something out of my life, I decided to work on adding something to my life. That something being a time in my day dedicated to God and spending time growing in him. I do feel like I grew some during this time but the daily time was not always there. I do believe it is important so will continue to work to find that time in my day that is set aside for HIM.

Once again, I want to praise GOD for the resurrection of his son, Jesus Christ for my sins. We are each so blessed that he paid the price for us.

All Grown Up for Easter

I have reached a milestone in my life this weekend. For the first time, I am not going to be with my family for a major holiday. I made the decision to stay put for the Easter weekend. All though I miss spending time with my family, I have really enjoyed the Easter experience at Irving Bible Church this weekend. I really feel that the last few months have been a major growing period in my Christian life and this weekend has meant even more to me than it had in years past.

Maundy Thursday service was a great reminder of the preparation and events leading up to the crucification. As Pastor Andy said, that day was about the Swab, Supper, and Stare. The swab represented Jesus washing his disciples feet, the supper representing the Last Supper, and the stare referred to the stare that Jesus gave Peter after he denied knowing him three times. I remember being younger and going to the Maundy Thursday service and having my feet washed. That was a little strange. We did not do that this time but did take communion and remember that day. We left the church in silence as we prepared for the crucification day.

Good Friday was very touching because after hearing the crucification story, we were all given the opportunity to touch a large wooden cross at the front of the church. This cross was drapped with a black cloth that church goers had written their sins on. It may not have been the actual cross that Jesus died for our sins on but it did bring that thought home.

For Holy Saturday, the church showed The Passion of the Christ. As I watched the movie, I went back and forth between the urge to throw up and the desire to cry. The fact that Jesus went through that horror for me and my sins makes me hurt so badly. It makes me feel so unworthy but at the same time so grateful that he was willing to do that for me so that I might have life after lasting. I had seen the movie before but I think it affected me even more this time than it did the last time because of where I feel I am in my Christian walk now compared to where I was then.

I look forward to the Easter service tomorrow evening as we remove the black cloth and replace it with a white one to represent that he is RISEN!! If not for that, none of the other would have mattered nor would Christmas. I try to remember that fact at Christmas as well as this Easter season. If Jesus had never risen, there would be no point in celebrating his birth or his death!!

No matter what may bring me down in my life, I must always remember that I am not alone and that this is just my temporary home. (Carrie Underwood's latest song just really hits me hard.) One day, I will be in Eternity with Jesus...I pray that you'll be there with me also!!!

HAPPY EASTER TO ONE AND ALL!!!

Spring Break....What a Tease!!!

Spring Break is officially over. Really??? It started only hours ago...or so it seems. I stayed pretty busy despite the fact that the crud finally caught me and I felt like poo for a large majority of the week. Low and behold though...I feel better just in time to go back to work!!! Isn't that how it typically works...I'd really rather feel bad at work and enjoy off time. I am most proud of cleaning out and reorganizing my closet this week. Now if only I had time to do that to a few more things but unfortunately...NO TIME!! :) I went home and spent time with the family and helped my brother and sister-in-law celebrate my nephew's 1st birthday which is this coming Friday. It is unbelievable that Adreal and Jayden have been a part of our family for almost a year. Where did all that time go? There have been some rocky times but things seem to be going well now. I am glad...my brother seems happy and that is all I can ask for. Anyway...the tease of Spring Break may be over but that leaves us with only 11 weeks of school!! That is my motivation to get up in the morning!!! :)

On another note, I just feel like life is getting me down right now. I am afraid I may go through this phase several times before 2010 is over as I near my 30th birthday. I am SOOOO not where I thought I would be in life. Of course, I know my plan and God's plan are quite often two totally different things. It is still frustrating. I see all my friends and family members with pretty babies and nice husbands living in houses and at least visibly happy to me. I am sure they each have their own issues that the world doesn't see but for what I can see....life is good. I have a great job and some good friends (many too far away!) but I still feel like I am on standstill. I try to stay busy so I don't think about it...I try to make new friends but every time I hold a sweet baby...I want one of my own. When I lay down at night, I want my other half beside me. I know God has a plan and I have to be patient...but it doesn't stop the longing and the wishing. I just don't understand sometimes why it isn't my turn. I've tried to always do whats right and follow what I feel like God is leading me to do and I don't understand why I am still all alone. My friend Chris once told me that he believes that some people are meant to be single but I just don't feel like that is me. God has not taken that desire away from my heart.

Besides the longing for my other half...I also long for more close friendships. I have some great friends and I have some awesome acquaintances. Too many of my friends live too far away and I just can't seem to get to see them very often. I can't seem to make friendships here like I have in other places and that is frustrating. That isn't saying I don't have any because I do and I am so thankful for those but there are still times I feel all alone. I don't know...I try to be an upbeat person but maybe I'm just not...just not sure what I am doing wrong. I want to be that person people call up to go to the movies or shopping or trips to awesome places.

Okay, so I started this blog with one thought and then totally veered a different direction. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'll feel better in the morning or in a few days. I've just had time to think and that isn't always a good thing. Sometimes it is quite depressing. Today is one of those days. To end where I started...11 weeks...that's my motivation!!!

Countdown to Spring Break is On

Yet another Christmas break has come and gone. As someone wrote on facebook, you know you are a teacher when you are already counting down the days until Spring Break as soon as you get back from Christmas break. It is so true. Of course, I try not to be one of those that looks for a Snow Day before we get to Spring Break because I realize that we will only have to make it up later on a day when I REALLY want a day off.

My two weeks off were excellent. I do believe it was probably one of the best 2 weeks off I've had in a few years anyway. I stayed here the first few days of the break and did some shopping. I met Susan and Will at at Allen Premium Outlets one of those days. First of all, I think that would be a great place to shop but would not recommend it or any other place for that matter the week before Christmas. I did have a great time catching up with Susan and Will. Hopefully, we can work on getting together more often. Funny but when I first met Susan, I really did not think I would like her and she has turned out to be a pretty amazing friend!!

I went to my parents house on the 23rd and stayed through Jan 2. I really enjoyed the time I spent there. The drama was kept at a minimum which was good because there always seems to be some sort of drama in my family. Obviously, I was a big part of that over the summer with my injured body. Dad was off the whole 2 weeks and I was a little leery of that at first. I love my dad but sometimes we are too much a like and too much together time is not a good thing. It really was not bad this time. For the first year in many, we were almost all able to get together with Aunt Barbara and her family for Christmas Eve Brunch. Christmas Eve was spent as a family at the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service and then Gramma's annual Christmas Eve Steak dinner. Christmas Day all four of us siblings and families were able to get together to open presents. Then we started a new Christmas Day tradition by grilling hamburgers. They were very yummy and we were not left with days and days of leftovers.

During the break, I was able to spend time getting to know my new sister-in-law. Adreal, Mom, and I along with Jayden spent a day in Texarkana shopping. It was great to finally be able to spend some time with her and get to know her a little bit better. I enjoyed her company and Jayden is just adorable. On Wednesday, Drake was able to stay home from school and spend the day with Mom, Dad, and I. He will be 4 next month and is a lot of fun. He loves trains, cars, tools, and anything that is most definitely boyish.

I remember when I last got my driver's license renewed 6 years ago, the date of my next renewal was in 2010. At the time, that seemed so far away and so unreal because that would be the year I turned 30. At 24, that seemed like a long way off. 2010 is now here and I look for it to be a great year!! My New Year's celebration this year was low key but I greatly enjoyed it. DeWayne came out for New Year's and after going to Texarkana with Amanda, Jake and Abigail for dinner, we spent the evening hanging out with Mom and Dad. We played the game Apples to Apples which I highly recommend for some good fun and laughter. On New Year's Day we went back to Texarkana to meet up with Whitney, Shawn and Campbell for dinner. It was great to be able to catch up with old friends.

As you can tell, I really had a great time off visiting with family and friends. I still have a good many friends I was not able to catch up with but, knock on wood, no major catastrophes this summer and I can make my way to see those friends I have missed. Of course, this will have to be worked around work as I plan to work on curriculum again this summer and then hopefully a trip to Cozumel with Mom, Dad, and Phillip. I have never left the country before and am very much looking forward to the trip and being able to do that before I turn 30!!! :)

On a little bit of a different note, my sister went back to the doctor on Friday and they found out that they are expecting another boy at the beginning of June. She said that Drake is excited about a little brother. I think he will make a great big brother and can teach his little brother lots of awesome things!!!