Torn

What do you do when you are torn between what has always been there and what could be there...especially if what could be there could be your future? I feel so caught between hurting someone who has been and will be as long as I let them...a pretty awesome friend...and the possibility of meeting the one who I am meant to spend my life with. I don't know if God is bringing that person to me anytime soon but in my heart I hope so much that he is. I have not been ready to let go of the other and have held on to it so tightly and have prayed that God give me the strength to loosen my hold a little bit. I feel like God is doing that but in the process, it is hurting my friend. And I can't stand to hurt those that I care the most about. Wow, I just never realized it would be this hard. On the other side, this is kind of what my friend put me through for years. My heart would really start thinking maybe, even though a lot of things I feel like are pretty important in a relationship were missing, he could still be the one given time...and then he would do something to dash that idea and my heart would shatter. I have realized now that there are guys out there that are what I have always felt is important. I believe that my husband will be the spiritually leader of my family. I believe he will challenge me and help me to grow closer to God. I believe that in marriage the things that need to be done for God can be done even stronger through that partnership. There are men out there that will be that...and although my friend is a great person...he is not that for me. And I have to make my heart ready for the one that is so that maybe God can bring him to me soon. But I can't stand hurting my friend. I just don't know what to say to make him understand.