Spring Break....What a Tease!!!

Spring Break is officially over. Really??? It started only hours ago...or so it seems. I stayed pretty busy despite the fact that the crud finally caught me and I felt like poo for a large majority of the week. Low and behold though...I feel better just in time to go back to work!!! Isn't that how it typically works...I'd really rather feel bad at work and enjoy off time. I am most proud of cleaning out and reorganizing my closet this week. Now if only I had time to do that to a few more things but unfortunately...NO TIME!! :) I went home and spent time with the family and helped my brother and sister-in-law celebrate my nephew's 1st birthday which is this coming Friday. It is unbelievable that Adreal and Jayden have been a part of our family for almost a year. Where did all that time go? There have been some rocky times but things seem to be going well now. I am glad...my brother seems happy and that is all I can ask for. Anyway...the tease of Spring Break may be over but that leaves us with only 11 weeks of school!! That is my motivation to get up in the morning!!! :)

On another note, I just feel like life is getting me down right now. I am afraid I may go through this phase several times before 2010 is over as I near my 30th birthday. I am SOOOO not where I thought I would be in life. Of course, I know my plan and God's plan are quite often two totally different things. It is still frustrating. I see all my friends and family members with pretty babies and nice husbands living in houses and at least visibly happy to me. I am sure they each have their own issues that the world doesn't see but for what I can see....life is good. I have a great job and some good friends (many too far away!) but I still feel like I am on standstill. I try to stay busy so I don't think about it...I try to make new friends but every time I hold a sweet baby...I want one of my own. When I lay down at night, I want my other half beside me. I know God has a plan and I have to be patient...but it doesn't stop the longing and the wishing. I just don't understand sometimes why it isn't my turn. I've tried to always do whats right and follow what I feel like God is leading me to do and I don't understand why I am still all alone. My friend Chris once told me that he believes that some people are meant to be single but I just don't feel like that is me. God has not taken that desire away from my heart.

Besides the longing for my other half...I also long for more close friendships. I have some great friends and I have some awesome acquaintances. Too many of my friends live too far away and I just can't seem to get to see them very often. I can't seem to make friendships here like I have in other places and that is frustrating. That isn't saying I don't have any because I do and I am so thankful for those but there are still times I feel all alone. I don't know...I try to be an upbeat person but maybe I'm just not...just not sure what I am doing wrong. I want to be that person people call up to go to the movies or shopping or trips to awesome places.

Okay, so I started this blog with one thought and then totally veered a different direction. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'll feel better in the morning or in a few days. I've just had time to think and that isn't always a good thing. Sometimes it is quite depressing. Today is one of those days. To end where I started...11 weeks...that's my motivation!!!